Brits are filthy pagans.
I feel no shame for speaking with such harsh words. If you’re a thinking man (sorry women, this one might be a bit above your pay grade) I’m sure you agree with me. In the history of this beautiful planet given to us by God above, there has not existed a breed of men so entrenched in their devious ways as those limey redcoats.
How has their reprehensible character been ascertained? Um, how hasn’t it been ascertained is the better question (zing!). In fact, if you can’t list out five reasons to despise the British right now then you yourself may be a Tory (you might not know it; Tories are similar to Cylons in that sense). Let me give you a few:
Number One: Boston Tea Party – I love tea and look at what they made us do.
Number Two: Cricket – Dumbest sport of all time. I can’t even watch it without getting a nosebleed from trying to figure out what in the world a wicket is.
Number Three: Amy Winehouse
Those should be enough to condemn any civilization.
But wait, there’s more. A few days ago I was enjoying my afternoon stroll around the interwebs when I came across a seemingly harmless educational series from the 70s entitled Look Around You. I began to watch an episode called “Music.”
Okay, I can’t really keep up the “I hate Brits” thing anymore because this thing is freaking hilarious. When I first stumbled across it, I thought it was real. My reaction was someting akin to how most of us (probably just guys) reacted the first time you saw pornographic material when you were way too young to know what was going on: a glazed over stare with intermittent “hur hur”s and confused head scratchings.
Yeah, it’s that good.
So watch at least one of these Look Around You videos in its entirety. Below, for your viewing pleasure, is the episode called “Music.”
PS – The guys who did this series are also in the process of inventing a religion, Tarvuism. Click the link to check it out.