I like reminders of why we dumped England

Brits are filthy pagans.

I feel no shame for speaking with such harsh words. If you’re a thinking man (sorry women, this one might be a bit above your pay grade) I’m sure you agree with me. In the history of this beautiful planet given to us by God above, there has not existed a breed of men so entrenched in their devious ways as those limey redcoats.

How has their reprehensible character been ascertained? Um, how hasn’t it been ascertained is the better question (zing!). In fact, if you can’t list out five reasons to despise the British right now then you yourself may be a Tory (you might not know it; Tories are similar to Cylons in that sense). Let me give you a few:

Number One: Boston Tea Party – I love tea and look at what they made us do.

Number Two: Cricket – Dumbest sport of all time. I can’t even watch it without getting a nosebleed from trying to figure out what in the world a wicket is.

Number Three: Amy Winehouse

Those should be enough to condemn any civilization.

But wait, there’s more. A few days ago I was enjoying my afternoon stroll around the interwebs when I came across a seemingly harmless educational series from the 70s entitled Look Around You. I began to watch an episode called “Music.”

Okay, I can’t really keep up the “I hate Brits” thing anymore because this thing is freaking hilarious. When I first stumbled across it, I thought it was real. My reaction was someting akin to how most of us (probably just guys) reacted the first time you saw pornographic material when you were way too young to know what was going on: a glazed over stare with intermittent “hur hur”s and confused head scratchings.

Yeah, it’s that good.

So watch at least one of these Look Around You videos in its entirety. Below, for your viewing pleasure, is the episode called “Music.”

PS – The guys who did this series are also in the process of inventing a religion, Tarvuism. Click the link to check it out.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “I like reminders of why we dumped England

  1. meredith

    You have no idea how weird it is to live in Wonderland. Around this time of year, lots of Brits do silly things to raise money for charity. I give you exhibit a:
    robert webb, what a feeling http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lz6k5Zg2wA&fe ature=related

  2. hope the links works now..?

  3. Is that James Blunt playing the music scientist? ;=)

    So you trash the Brits, and then provide us with examples of the fact that they make our pitiful attempts at humor sound like pre-schoolers trying to tell knock-knock jokes?

    BTW, I can understand how you thought this was real for a while. I grew up watching educational films that looked and sounded exactly like that.

  4. Meredith, ahhh, I want to see the video so bad but it’s “not available in my country”. What’s it of? Maybe I can do a search for it.

    Mark, I thought it was real until I skipped ahead and saw the boite diabolique and 19 forbidden notes. Then I figured it must be fake.

  5. I dunno, Chris. I’ve heard music that made blood run out of my ear. (See my Linda McCartney link in another post.)

  6. It’s a video of a guy named Robert Webb (I think) performing the dance from Flashdance in a very camp and mock-serious way as part of the annual Red Nose Day charity appeal here. It’s become a classic on this very weird island…

    And for real, they do have some ‘educational videos’ that honestly are not that different from the spoof you posted. I kid you not. Will try to find a few for your amusement…

  7. Chris,

    I’ve shown you this one before, but this is one of my favorities of the “British Fake Educational Video” genre: “Women! Know Your Limits!

    • Mark! That’s one of the most hilarious videos ever! It has been making the rounds among Oxford doctoral students for a while now. Whenever someone gets chirpy about women (and the UK is not the socialist paradise they would have you believe) our default response is to adopt a posh accent and talk about kittens. :))

  8. liz

    There’s a workbook?

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