Tag Archives: Freedom

I like basking in the glory of America

chuck-norrisI’m working on a crossword puzzle and I could use some help. What’s a seven-letter word that means “something beautiful, to be sought after, to die for; something that makes us human and makes us happy; something for which even the tiniest little fetus yearns; that which gives me the mandate to carry a shotgun in my truck?”

The answer, my friends, is “f-r-e-e-d-o-m.” Freedom.

It’s what defines us as Americans. The lack of this precious commodity is what defines the rest of the world (and America, if Barack Obama gets his way) as eighth-world countries. It’s the smell that’s in the air in places like Texas, South Dakota, and all the other states that voted for John ‘Colonel Tigh‘ McCain. Freedom.

“But surely there must be freedom somewhere else besides America!” you say.

You think so? Well, it’s a commonly known fact that aside from Australia, the rest of the world is controlled either actively or passively by the Soviets. And what kind of people are Soviets?

See for yourself. Check out the new blog Яolcats: English Translations of Eastern-Bloc Lolcats to see exactly what you can look forward to if Barack Obama isn’t impeached immediately. Read closely and learn to fear.

Mother, if my constitution is unfit for gymnast… The grist mill shall become my pommel horse and daily labor my reward!

Mother, if my constitution is unfit for gymnast… The grist mill shall become my pommel horse and daily labor my reward!

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