If you’re at all like me–and I’m sure you are–you’ve spent hours upon lonely hours in your mansion, expensive microbrew in hand, pondering this simple question: why is the internet?
It is a question that has plagued the mind of man for thousands of years, keeping sophisticates of all stripes up many a sleepless night. For many moon naive and simple people convinced some that the answer to that vexing question was just this: the internet is for the purposes of freedom of information, worldwide commerce, increased diplomacy, and online dating for farmers.
Now we can look back on those dark days and laugh as we realize just how far we’ve come. Now, of course, we’ve realized that the internet is to be used above all else as a showcase for animals doing odd/cute/funny/destructive things and also as a cesspool for the narcissistic ramblings of a generation of self-centered tweens.
The only thing we’re missing in this new world of internet possibilities is a soundtrack fitting for the grandeur we have just begun to create.
Enter Parry Gripp. You may recognize his name from the video I had up awhile ago, Spaghetti Cat (I Weep for You). Kanye West says that he’s the voice of this generation, but Kayne’s autotuned hip-pop sounds like Mozart compared to the shallow, short and sweet songs of Parry Gripp. He writes songs for some of the most random and popular videos on YouTube and posts a new song (sans video) each week on his website.
I’ve spent upwards of three hours listening to his songs and watching the videos so that I could present you with my three favorites:
Young Girl Talking About Herself
Chimpanzee Riding a Segway
Wiener Dog Riding a Skateboard
PS – If you would truly like to enter a tunnel of despair and hopelessness towards what your kids may one day be like, you really should click the link above labelled “self-centered tweens” and watch it to the end. It’s a response to a video titled “Emo/Scene Kids Suck.” The tunnel starts there and ends somewhere in the abyss of YouTube after passing through this, this, this, and this.