I like life according to The Final Countdown

eurpoe**Update: Because some people are view-hungry bastards, they disable embedding on their videos (YouTube doesn’t count views from embedded videos). So click here to watch the video of the girl playing Guitar Hero.**

The club was hot that night. And so were the ladies.

By one a.m., sweat had soaked my blue silk shirt, but what did it matter to me? I was with Mona Jenkins…and she was with me. Dancing, drinking, laughing. When the song was right, we were the only ones on the dance floor. Lights pulsing all around us. Fog covering the floor like the ghosts of every young and naive couple that had come before us. Every move we made pushed them further and further away, swirling on to haunt other couples, but not us. No one could stop us.

No one, that is, except Gavin Becker. Sure, I’d seen Gavin around before, and yeah, I knew he had been dating Mona until a few weeks ago. But a few weeks is an eternity to non-stop party people like we were that fateful summer. How could I have seen the jealousy he was hiding inside like so many of us hid our secret addictions back when we were so innocent and inexperienced? How could I have known that he had finally decided to come to the club to try his luck with Mona one last time? And how could I have known the depths of the anger he felt when he saw she and I together on the dance floor?

“Chris!” Gavin screamed above the booming bass. “This is it! You’re dead!”

“Gavin, just let her go! It doesn’t have to be like this,” I replied, already feeling the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“No, Chris” he said reaching towards his pocket, “I’m afraid it does.”

————

Now, I know what you’re all thinking: “CHRIIIIISSSS! How did you settle this blood feud? Did you fight him to the death? Debilitate him and take Mona to safety? Challenge him to a dance-off?”

It doesn’t matter. Why? Because at this point in the movie, the first synth keystrokes of The Final Countdown come in over the action, and your adrenaline pumps so hard that you black out from an overdose on raw power. And you don’t even care. That’s how awesome The Final Countdown is.

This song, written by the band Europe, can and does make everything that happens in life infinitely better than it would be otherwise. Going on a date and need a little extra boost? Listen to The Final Countdown on the way to her house; just make sure to drain the testosterone out of the car before she gets in. Got a long escalator to ride up in the mall? Play The Final Countdown on your iPod and get ready to feel like Princess Peach herself is waiting for you at the top.

I could go on and on with examples in which the simple addition of The Final Countdown turns what would otherwise be a horribly boring situation into something that minstrels will sing about for ages to come. Instead, I’ve gathered a few videos from YouTube that prove my point for me. Enjoy the videos, enjoy the song, and remember: everything is better with The Final Countdown.

Random girl plays Final Countdown on Guitar Hero – Normally this would be the epitome of lame, but it’s Final Countdown so it gets +5 awesome. Skip to the 2:10 mark to get to the good parts.

Mike Tyson beats the living crap out of people – The addition of Final Countdown to this video more than makes up for the missing psychoticism of Tyson due to the lack of his freakfest face tattoo at this point in his career.

And saving the best for last: a shrimp runs on a treadmill – This is almost all the evidence I need to prove my point.

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1 Comment

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One response to “I like life according to The Final Countdown

  1. Chris has also been known to play the final countdown as a prelude to Greek class. Really sets the appropriate tone…

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