There comes a time in every young man’s life when he must ask himself a crucial question. A question which will shape his destiny from that day forward. That question is: when historians inevitably write about my life and legacy, when they pour over the intracies of my life and personality, when they ponder the depths of my genius, how badass will they say that I am?
Now, I’ve been around a lot of awesome badassery in my day, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I am at most a badass padawan with a mediocre midichlorian count. At most. But for those of you cool enough to bench press more than 100 pounds, dribble a basketball without looking at it the whole time, or fingerpick a guitar or other stringed instrument, it’s very important to be able to stack yourself up against the other badasses that have come along throughout history. Unfortunately, it is patently un-badass to be seen in a library. So where can you get your information?
Enter Badass of the Week, a website devoted to profiling the most awesomely un-pansified people ever to exist. The author profiles a new badass each week and gives a brief and quasi-true biography of the person/animal/machine/place/thing. Here’s an excerpt from the beginning of this week’s badass, John L. Sullivan:
…John L. Sullivan is probably the manliest man in American history, and the most hardcore bastard to ever sucker-punch a Gorilla in the chops for no good reason and then go off to a bar and celebrate by pounding a fifth of Jameson’s, breaking the bottle over someone’s head, and nailing some skanky, corseted 1880s street prostitute. Sullivan was the last of the great bareknuckle boxers, the first gloved boxing world champion, and a man so badass he could have detonated those giant blocks at Stonehenge into rock dust with a right hook and still have enough energy left over to resurrect the Druids, punch their heads off, and then go back to pounding whiskey until he passed out from being too awesome.
So yeah…it’s a great website. I’m sure that many of you have seen this website before and have spent many hours fruitfully perusing its offerings, so instead of just linking to the main site, here’s a list of some of my favorite members of the Hall of Badassitude (be forewarned, there is some extreme language in some of these so if that offends you, stay away):
So go and enjoy Badass of the Week. And if you find any that you think are incredibly awesome, post them in the comments section.