I like knowing where I fit in

wolverine14There comes a time in every young man’s life when he must ask himself a crucial question. A question which will shape his destiny from that day forward. That question is: when historians inevitably write about my life and legacy, when they pour over the intracies of my life and personality, when they ponder the depths of my genius, how badass will they say that I am?

Now, I’ve been around a lot of awesome badassery in my day, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I am at most a badass padawan with a mediocre midichlorian count. At most. But for those of you cool enough to bench press more than 100 pounds, dribble a basketball without looking at it the whole time, or fingerpick a guitar or other stringed instrument, it’s very important to be able to stack yourself up against the other badasses that have come along throughout history. Unfortunately, it is patently un-badass to be seen in a library. So where can you get your information?

Enter Badass of the Week, a website devoted to profiling the most awesomely un-pansified people ever to exist. The author profiles a new badass each week and gives a brief and quasi-true biography of the person/animal/machine/place/thing. Here’s an excerpt from the beginning of this week’s badass, John L. Sullivan:

…John L. Sullivan is probably the manliest man in American history, and the most hardcore bastard to ever sucker-punch a Gorilla in the chops for no good reason and then go off to a bar and celebrate by pounding a fifth of Jameson’s, breaking the bottle over someone’s head, and nailing some skanky, corseted 1880s street prostitute.  Sullivan was the last of the great bareknuckle boxers, the first gloved boxing world champion, and a man so badass he could have detonated those giant blocks at Stonehenge into rock dust with a right hook and still have enough energy left over to resurrect the Druids, punch their heads off, and then go back to pounding whiskey until he passed out from being too awesome.

So yeah…it’s a great website. I’m sure that many of you have seen this website before and have spent many hours fruitfully perusing its offerings, so instead of just linking to the main site, here’s a list of some of my favorite members of the Hall of Badassitude (be forewarned, there is some extreme language in some of these so if that offends you, stay away):

So go and enjoy Badass of the Week. And if you find any that you think are incredibly awesome, post them in the comments section.

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4 Comments

Filed under I like...

4 responses to “I like knowing where I fit in

  1. David Douglas

    You wrote this shit at 7 in the morning?? Did you just finish an all-night session with the Alpha and Omega factor or something?

    • I should clarify. I actually wrote this at 2 in the morning, but I set it to publish at 7 am so everyone would have a treat when they woke up.

      Also, I have no idea what the Alpha and Omega factor is.

  2. David Douglas

    As far as I know no one really does. I’m just asking if you were coming off of some experience with the cosmic force all night in order to write something like first thing in the morning, but as you say, it was written at 2 a.m., which makes it much more understandable, and much more humanly possible. 7 a.m. would have been incredible.

  3. basattak

    All of these people in this video should be badasses of the week. Check it out!

    -James

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