I like being the normal one

pat-booneI’m a white, upper-middle class male living in a mansion in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I finally have the internet back. I get cable TV. You know what all of that means? It means that I get to decide what’s normal, and I can laugh at people who are different without feeling bad. It means that if I wanted to, I could pretend like nothing ever existed before the last year or so when people finally started dressing normally and acting cool. If I so choose, I don’t ever have to have my countenance darkened by someone who doesn’t look like me (6’3″, 220 lbs, gigantic pecs), act like me (wicked awesome), or think like me (WASP to the max).

But why would I ever separate myself from the darker sides of society (mainly: stupid people, ugly people, and people from before 1990 [well, technically ‘people from before 1990’ is just a subset of both of the previous categories]) when I can watch videos of them and laugh hysterically, feeling ever more confident that we’ve finally gotten it right? I wouldn’t. I don’t. And I won’t. These people must be laughed at (okay grammar geniuses, let’s see you figure out how to end that sentence in anything other than a preposition without sounding like Yoda).

I’ve discovered a website that is perfectly created to put the best of the worst right in front of your very eyes. The website’s name is Everything Is Terrible, and it is filled to the brim with clips taken from the most bizarre places imaginable. Most of these videos are so amazingly weird that you don’t know whether to laugh at the people or feel depressed that a real human actually did something like this. I’ve put three of my favorite clips from the site below, but trust me when I say that this site is a gold mine. So go to Everything Is Terrible and waste some of your time.

Walter Jones’ Dance Ranger – The black power ranger teaches us how to show thugs what’s what

Producciones Jean Kumaro – One of the best video company intros I’ve ever seen

The Internet for Dummies by Dummies – “Now there you go with that techno-speak again Frank.”



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5 responses to “I like being the normal one

  1. Simple. “We must laugh at these people.” Your problem is your use of the inherently weak passive voice.

    And so I reveal that I am SO pre-1990s. I am to be laughed at.

  2. And I must confess, whenever I say “anonymous users” I also get that cute little sparkle in my eyes and my dimples show.

    Wonder what kind of “email relationships” Frank gets into…

  3. Actually, Mark, I think you’ll find that my voice is nothing short of earth-shatteringly masculine.

  4. Mike

    -Those who must be laughed at are these people.
    -These people provoke and deserve our derisive laughter.
    -These are they at whom our laughter must be directed.
    -We laugh in their general direction.
    -We must laugh at these people.
    -Laugh at these people or else.

  5. Pingback: I like the weekend…it’s okay, go ahead and cut my face edition « What Chris Likes

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